Best Practices For Giving Feedback

Giving negative feedback is uncomfortable for everyone. But if you say it the right way, it becomes a normal, healthy work conversation — not a fight. Here’s the simplest way to do it: ⸻ 1. Start gently Don’t attack. Ease into it. “Can we talk for a minute? I want to share something that might help us work smoother.” ⸻ 2. Talk about the action, not the person Don’t say “You’re careless.” Say what happened. “The report had a few mistakes, and it slowed us down.” ⸻ 3. Be clear about what went wrong No vague feedback. “In the client call, interrupting twice made it hard for them to share their point.” ⸻ 4. Share how it affects the team People respond better when they understand the impact. “It pushed the deadline by a day, and the team had to adjust everything.” ⸻ 5. Offer a simple next step Feedback works only if you show a way forward. “Let’s do a quick review together next time.” ⸻ 6. Ask for their side It shows respect and makes it a conversation. “What happened from your end?” “Anything that made this tougher?” ⸻ 7. End on a supportive note Leave them feeling capable, not defeated. “You’re good at what you do — this is just a small fix.” ⸻ 🔹 Quick Templates You Can Use Performance: “Hey, the task didn’t finish on time and it impacted the next steps. How can we avoid this going forward?” Communication: “In meetings, jumping in too quickly shuts others down. Let’s keep a pause in between.” Quality: “There were a few inconsistencies in the draft. Let’s tighten the review process.”

Most leaders don’t struggle to give feedback because they lack good intentions, they struggle because they lack the right frameworks. We say things like: 🗣 “This wasn’t good enough.” 🗣 “You need to speak up more.” 🗣 “That project could’ve been tighter.” But vague feedback isn’t helpful, it’s confusing. And often, it demoralizes more than it motivates. That’s why I love this visual from Rachel Turner (VC Talent Lab). It lays out four highly actionable, research-backed frameworks for giving better feedback: → The 3 Ps Model: Praise → Problem → Potential. Start by recognizing what worked. Then gently raise what didn’t. End with a suggestion for how things could improve. → The SBI Model: Situation → Behavior → Impact. This strips out judgment and makes feedback objective. Instead of “You’re too aggressive in meetings,” it becomes: “In yesterday’s meeting (Situation), you spoke over colleagues multiple times (Behavior), which made some feel unable to share (Impact).” → Harvard’s HEAR Framework: A powerful structure for disagreement. Hedge claims. Emphasize agreement. Acknowledge their point. Reframe to solutions. → General Feedback Tips: – Be timely. – Be specific. – Focus on behavior, not identity. – Reinforce the positive (and remember the 5:1 rule). Here’s what I tell senior FMCG leaders all the time: Good feedback builds performance. Great feedback builds culture. The best feedback builds trust, and that’s what retains your best people. So next time you hesitate before giving hard feedback? Remember this: → You’re not there to criticize. → You’re there to build capacity. Save this as your cheat sheet. Share it with your teams. Let’s make feedback a tool for growth, not fear. #Leadership #FMCG #TalentDevelopment #PerformanceCulture #FeedbackMatters #ExecutiveDevelop

A client called me yesterday in a panic. "Deb, I need to give feedback to my team about being more organized, but my desk looks like a tornado hit a filing cabinet. How can I possibly have this conversation?" First of all, I appreciated her vulnerability and authenticity. Second of all, I applauded her recognition that she might have a credibility issue on this topic. (Third of all, that's what my desk looks like today too.) Here's what we figured out together about giving feedback when you're... let's call it "still working on it yourself": 1. Lead with honesty, not hypocrisy. "I know I struggle with organization too, AND I've noticed when we're both more systematic, our projects run smoother." 2. Make it about the impact, not the person. Instead of: "You're disorganized" Try: "When you can find documents quickly, you can spend more time on strategy" 3. Partner up, don't preach down. "I'm working on this too. Want to help each other build better systems?" 4. Focus on one behavior, not a personality overhaul. You're not asking them to become someone else. You're asking for a specific change that serves the team. 5. Share what you've learned from your mistakes. "Here's what I've discovered doesn't work... and here's what I'm trying instead." 6. Ask for their insight on YOUR growth. "Since you see me in meetings, what would help me be more organized? I value your perspective." 7. Get specific about the business case. "We missed two deadlines last month because we couldn't find the files. Let's solve this together." The truth? Sometimes the best feedback comes from people who understand the struggle. My client knows exactly how hard it is to maintain systems because she's building them herself. Leadership isn't about being perfect. It's about being brave enough to name what needs to change, even when (especially when) you're still figuring it out yourself. #feedback #leadership #authenticity

Giving feedback is one of the most important jobs of a leader, but doing it in a way that’s both direct and constructive takes some finesse. It’s not just about telling the truth—it’s about doing so in a way that uplifts rather than discourages. Here are a few principles I’ve relied on that can help you give feedback that truly supports growth: ✅Start with care: People are more open to feedback when they know it’s coming from a place of genuine support. Show that you’re invested in their success. ✅Be specific and actionable: Vague feedback doesn’t help anyone. Focus on specific behaviors and offer concrete ways to improve. This helps the recipient know exactly what they can work on, instead of wondering if what you shared was actually feedback or not! ✅Stay future-focused: Feedback should always look forward. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, keep the conversation centered on what the person can do to improve going forward. Think of it like driving a car: your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror because there’s more opportunity ahead than behind. ✅Balance challenge with support: Feedback shouldn’t just point out areas for improvement—it should also highlight strengths and superpowers. Striking that balance helps people see what’s working while understanding where there’s room to grow. How do you ensure the feedback you give supports growth? #LeadershipDevelopment #FeedbackCulture #EffectiveCommunication

The most dangerous kind of feedback isn’t the harsh kind. It’s the kind that sounds fine but changes nothing. Leaders waste hours repeating the same points, wondering why nothing sticks. It’s not laziness on your team’s part. It’s that your words aren’t sparking movement. Here’s what separates feedback that shifts behaviour from feedback that disappears into thin air: 1. Trust before talk:  No trust, no change. People listen with half an ear when they feel judged. 2. Precision over politeness:  “Work on your communication” is vague. Try: “When updates are last-minute, the team scrambles. Sharing earlier would prevent the chaos.” 3. Show strengths before gaps:  When you acknowledge what’s working, people are more willing to improve what isn’t.  For example: “Your presentation was clear and engaging. Adding data at the start would make it even more convincing.” 4. Behaviours, not labels:  Telling someone they’re careless won’t change anything. Showing them the specific action that caused the mistake might. And here are extra ways to make feedback actually land: ➡️Pick the right timing. Feedback in the middle of stress or conflict rarely gets heard. Wait until people are calm enough to absorb it. ➡️ Frame it as a possibility. Instead of only pointing to what went wrong, highlight the potential you see. People lean in when they feel you believe in them. ➡️ Make it a dialogue. Ask “How do you see it?” or “What could help you here?” Feedback works best when it becomes a shared problem-solving moment. ➡️ Anchor to purpose. Connect the feedback to the bigger picture: “When reports are clear, the client trusts us more.” Purpose creates motivation. ➡️ Balance the emotional tone. A steady, calm delivery helps the person stay open. If you sound irritated or rushed, the message gets lost. ➡️ Close with next steps. Clarity comes from knowing exactly what to try next and when you’ll review it together. Feedback is either a lever for growth or a loop you get stuck in. The choice is in how you deliver it. When you give feedback, do you focus more on safety, clarity, or motivation? #feedback #difficultconversations #work

Hard conversations don't get easier by avoiding them. Here's how to have them - successfully: Whether it's the feedback you know you have to give, Or the exit interview you're dreading, Or the awkward management challenge you've been putting off, These rules will help make it better: 1. Don't avoid it ↳No matter how much you want to. The longer you wait, the more the story grows in everyone's head ↳Ex: Put 20 minutes on the calendar today, even if all you know is "we need to talk through what happened" 2. Meet in person ↳Tone matters, body language matters, and trust is easier to protect face to face ↳Ex: Say "This feels important enough to talk live, can we meet after lunch?" 3. Start calm ↳Regulate yourself first, then enter the conversation with clarity ↳Ex: Take 3 slow breaths before you walk in, then write down the one outcome you want 4. Name the purpose ↳Say why you're having the conversation before you get into the details ↳Ex: Start with "I want us to fix this so we can work better together" 5. Lead with care ↳Make it clear the goal is progress, not punishment ↳Ex: Say "I'm bringing this up because I believe we can solve it" 6. Be specific ↳Talk about what happened, when it happened, and the impact it had ↳Ex: Say "In yesterday's client meeting, the deadline changed and the team didn't hear about it" 7. Skip labels ↳Don't call someone lazy, defensive, or careless - describe the behavior instead ↳Ex: Replace "You don't care" with "The last 2 updates came in after the deadline" 8. Own your part ↳If you missed something, delayed feedback, or made assumptions, say that ↳Ex: Say "I should have brought this up sooner, and I want to reset now" 9. Ask first ↳Give them room to share what they saw, felt, or misunderstood ↳Ex: Ask "What did this look like from your side?" 10. Listen fully ↳Don't plan your next point while they're still talking ↳Ex: Repeat back one thing you heard before you respond 11. Agree on next steps ↳End with who will do what, by when, and how you'll follow up ↳Ex: Say "Let's both send our updates by Friday at 10, then check in Monday" 12. Follow through ↳Trust is built by what happens after the meeting, not during it ↳Ex: Circle back when you said you would, even if the update is small Difficult conversations are never just about the words. They're about whether people leave feeling Clear, Respected, And able to move forward. Do you have a conversation you've been putting off? --- ♻️ Repost to help leaders handle hard conversations. And follow me George Stern for more practical leadership advice.

When we fly with a wingman who isn’t meeting expectations, we provide feedback so they can improve their performance. We give brief comments in the air while performing the mission and then we have an opportunity to provide more in-depth feedback in our debrief. Feedback (both positive and negative) is a critical ingredient of high-performing teams. And yet, it is often overlooked in many teams and organizations. Providing feedback can be difficult, especially when we’re letting someone know they’re not meeting expectations. Those conversations aren’t fun, but they are necessary. Just as with flying, we owe it to our team to provide feedback and recommend course corrections. So, what are some of the techniques we can use when providing feedback to ensure it has the right impact? ✅ Be prepared. Have a plan for the discussion and be ready to adjust as needed. ✅ Show empathy. Having tough conversations isn’t easy on anyone. ✅ Provide specific examples and observations. ✅ Explain how the behavior impacts others or how it affects the team. ✅ Ask questions to ensure understanding. Make it a conversation. ✅ Discuss a roadmap to improve. We have a responsibility beyond just giving the feedback. ✅ Set milestones to evaluate progress and continue to provide feedback along the way. Teams want leaders who are trustworthy and transparent and are willing to lead by example by having tough conversations. To be an effective leader, we must hold team members accountable, and we must hold ourselves accountable too. Give feedback, your teammates deserve it. #WingmanCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #Leadership #Feedback

What if feedback wasn’t something people feared… but something they valued? 💬✨ Too often, feedback feels like criticism. Vague. Personal. Poorly timed. But when done right, feedback becomes fuel for growth. 🚀 The difference? A structured, intentional approach. Here’s a powerful 5-step framework for giving feedback that actually works: 1️⃣ Prepare First Before you speak, pause. ✔️ What is your intention? ✔️ What specific examples can you reference? ✔️ Is this the right time and context? In the Critical 3 Academy Framework, this aligns with Intentional Thinking. We teach leaders to regulate emotion, clarify purpose, and communicate from strategy—not impulse. 2️⃣ Start With Connection Feedback without relationship feels like attack. ✔️ Ask permission ✔️ Acknowledge strengths ✔️ Show genuine care This reflects our Emotional Intelligence Toolkit: psychological safety increases receptivity. When people feel respected, they listen differently. 🧠💛 3️⃣ Be Specific, Not Vague ❌ “You’re always late.” ✅ “The last 3 meetings started 15 minutes late, which delayed the project timeline.” Specificity reduces defensiveness and increases clarity. Critical communicators replace generalizations with observable data. 4️⃣ Focus on Behavior, Not Character ❌ “You’re lazy.” ✅ “Task X wasn’t completed by the agreed deadline.” Behavior is changeable. Identity attacks are not. In the Critical 3 model, we emphasize separating facts from assumptions—a cornerstone of powerful decision-making and leadership credibility. 5️⃣ Collaborate on Next Steps Feedback is not a verdict. It’s a conversation. ✔️ Brainstorm solutions together ✔️ Set clear future goals ✔️ Define accountability When people co-create solutions, they own them. Ownership drives performance. 📈 Here’s the truth: Specific + Timely + Kind = Growth. Feedback is a gift 🎁—but only when delivered with skill. Inquiry-driven leaders ask: 1️⃣• What outcome do I want this conversation to create? 2️⃣• How can I strengthen the relationship while addressing the issue? 3️⃣• Am I correcting—or developing? Within the Critical 3 Academy Framework, powerful communication integrates: 🔹 Cognitive clarity (facts over emotion) 🔹 Emotional regulation (respond vs react) 🔹 Strategic collaboration (solution-focused dialogue) When these three intersect, feedback transforms culture. Imagine teams where conversations build capacity instead of eroding trust. Imagine leaders who elevate performance without diminishing people. That’s not idealistic. It’s trainable. Feedback isn’t about being right. It’s about helping others rise. 🌱 Follow and share if you found this helpful. Check out my featured post. Image credit: SketchedWisdom #LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #CriticalThinking #CommunicationSkills #ProfessionalGrowth #ExecutiveCoaching #PsychologicalSafety #OrganizationalCulture #Critical3 #PerformanceLeadershi

Your primary role as a leader is to develop your team members. Providing regular, timely feedback is a necessary aspect of helping them reach their potential. But sometimes, feedback can unintentionally come across as criticism, making teams defensive rather than inspired. The difference lies in your approach. Where Leaders Go Wrong: 1) 🕛 Timing: Jumping on mistakes as they happen can make team members feel targeted. 2) 👥 Setting: Offering criticism in front of peers and in a public forum can embarrass and demoralize. 3) 🗣 Lack of Specificity: Vague feedback leaves team members confused about how to improve. Here’s how to ensure feedback is useful: 1) ⏸ Pause and Plan: Give yourself time to consider and frame the feedback. This allows you to approach the situation with a clear, constructive plan rather than a reactive comment. 2) 👨🏫 Choose the Right Setting: Feedback should be a private conversation, not a public spectacle. This creates a safe space for open dialogue. 3) 🎯 Be Specific and Actionable: Clearly articulate what needs improvement and offer specific, actionable steps to achieve this. Set benchmarks and measurements for growth and follow-up. This shows your commitment to their growth. 4) 🚩 Focus on the Behavior, Not the Person: Emphasize that the feedback is about actions and outcomes, not personal attributes. This encourages a growth mindset. 5) 🗣 Invite Dialogue: Feedback is a two-way street. Encourage your team members to share their perspectives, fostering a collaborative approach to improvement. Next time you have feedback to give, apply these 5 steps. You’ll find defensiveness shifts to receptivity and results. #feedback #growth #communication #leadership #executivecoaching

The sandwich method is dead. Your team knows when you're cushioning. They see through the compliment-criticism-compliment formula. Their brain leaves your office half happy, half confused. And worse - they stop trusting you. True feedback is clear and honest. Here are 5 steps to provide clear feedback: - Be direct about what needs improvement. - Focus on actions, not personal traits. - Use specific examples to illustrate your point.  - Encourage questions to clarify understanding.  - Offer support for improvement. Try these 5 much effective models to give clear feedback: The SBI Model:  → Situation: Describe what happened.  → Behavior: Focus on actions, not thoughts.  → Impact: Share the effect on the team or project. The Start-Stop-Continue Model:  → Start: Suggest new actions to take.  → Stop: Identify what’s not working.  → Continue: Praise what is going well. The Radical Candor Framework:  → Care Personally: Show empathy.  → Challenge Directly: Be honest and clear. The Feedforward Model:  → Focus on the future.  → Ask how to improve next time. The CLEAR Model:  → Clarify: Define the issue.  → Listen: Hear their side.  → Explore: Find solutions together.  → Agree: Set next steps.  → Review: Follow up to check progress. Each one builds confidence, accountability, and stronger performance conversations. 👉 What feedback have you been avoiding because you don't know how to say it clearly AND kindly? ♻️ Share and help your network provide effective feedback. 🔔 Ring the bell to get my posts.